Me listening to a thunderstorm: this honestly goes off
we all out here supporting thor’s aspiring dj career
Translation:
Hey gang, I just ran after this animal. Someone tell me what animal is this. Look. It’s weird, I found it. I thought it was a duck. Look at its feet, my god *bird kicks* HEY, CALM IT FUCKER, DON’T PECK ME. My mom has a zoo at her house, I’m gonna take it to her. But look, it’s a weird animal *bird starts pecking his fingers* AAAAAAAAAAAAH IT PECKED ME, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. *sucks air through teeth* UUUGHH FUCK, HE’S PECKING ME GUYS AAAAAAAAHH, ASSHOLE AAAH. FUCKER, LET ME GO, OH FUCK AAH–
What if you intentionally put in one squeaky floorboard and tell your regulars that if they squeak it, their first drink costs 10% extra, then only new people who don’t know the rule will step on it and familiars will avoid it.
Did… did you just write an algorithm for human behavior? Because that is exactly what I would expect from a robot appreciation Tumblr.
God I fucking hate how acid reflux can make you feel like your throat is tight and your breathing is somewhat hindered
Like thanks body for the anxiety
the pope may have called trans ppl “the annihilation of man” but what he didnt realize is that thats a sick title and hes a shitty old bitch
fuck
I like it when posts like this are actually true
Zach Braff did an AMA on reddit a while ago and said the script would sometimes just say “Then Neil says something funny”
Susiron 