topmemesdeluxe:

latterdaytaints:

topmemesdeluxe:

When my boyfriend says “wig” in front of the cashier at Michaels while we’re buying Christmas ornaments and I know our cover is blown as a gay couple and he just outed himself as a bottom

You were two men buying Christmas ornaments in a craft store. There was never a cover believed that you were a couple of straight bros

I hate y’all

bradley-upperbitch-iii:

Translation:

Hey gang, I just ran after this animal. Someone tell me what animal is this. Look. It’s weird, I found it. I thought it was a duck. Look at its feet, my god *bird kicks* HEY, CALM IT FUCKER, DON’T PECK ME. My mom has a zoo at her house, I’m gonna take it to her. But look, it’s a weird animal *bird starts pecking his fingers* AAAAAAAAAAAAH IT PECKED ME, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. *sucks air through teeth* UUUGHH FUCK, HE’S PECKING ME GUYS AAAAAAAAHH, ASSHOLE AAAH. FUCKER, LET ME GO, OH FUCK AAH–