Tag: funniest shit

bradley-upperbitch-iii:

Translation:

Hey gang, I just ran after this animal. Someone tell me what animal is this. Look. It’s weird, I found it. I thought it was a duck. Look at its feet, my god *bird kicks* HEY, CALM IT FUCKER, DON’T PECK ME. My mom has a zoo at her house, I’m gonna take it to her. But look, it’s a weird animal *bird starts pecking his fingers* AAAAAAAAAAAAH IT PECKED ME, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. *sucks air through teeth* UUUGHH FUCK, HE’S PECKING ME GUYS AAAAAAAAHH, ASSHOLE AAAH. FUCKER, LET ME GO, OH FUCK AAH–

pomrania:

pharoahamunsadji:

mulaneysbutt:

lizatonix:

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

Emmy Award Winning™️

I FOUND IT AGAIN.

Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.